


Forgiveness

by chamaenerion



Series: SPN Writing Challenges [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, it's an afterlife fic so yeah there's character death but it's not the focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 06:59:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15880920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamaenerion/pseuds/chamaenerion
Summary: Castiel follows Dean into the afterlife and finds there is more to it than he thought.





	Forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> for round 6 of the [deancas monthly writing challenge](http://deancaswc.tumblr.com/) on [tumblr](http://enocchian.tumblr.com/), prompt: white tulips (forgiveness).

Eventually, Castiel falls permanently. He happily lives out his life next to Dean, and it’s no surprise to anyone that when Dean dies he follows him shortly after.

Billie makes it quick, can clearly see how anxious he is to get to Dean’s Heaven to start in on their eternity.

“I hear it’s changed,” she says.

“I wouldn’t know,” he replies. He hasn’t had contact with Heaven in years.

When she leaves him at the gate, she smiles and says, “Two down, one to go.”

He glares at her halfheartedly, but Billie just laughs.

“Tell Dean I miss him.”

She’s not the only one who does.

-

Their reunion is cut short by Gabriel’s arrival. Of course.

“Don’t you have better things to do?” Dean grumbles, tugging his shirt back into order.

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “Not here to see you, Dean-o. Cas here detoured straight to you without checking out his own little slice of Heaven.”

“I assumed I would be sharing Dean’s.” Based on what, he’s not sure.

“Nope,“ Gabriel says, with a snap of his fingers. "We made this one just for you, bro.”

Castiel stares out at the sunny meadow. There is a line of trees in the distance, and he can just make out the deer hiding among the leaves. Birdsong fills the air, and the distant sound of water suggests the small clearing to the right leads to a stream.

And everywhere there are white tulips.

He feels the sudden burn of tears behind his eyes.

“Cas?” Dean asks, and he takes Castiel’s hand after Gabriel winks and disappears. “You okay?”

He squeezes Dean’s hand.

“Let’s go back,” he says, voice tight.

“You don’t like it? If I need to go kick Gabe’s ass, you just let me know.”

Castiel can’t stop how the corners of his mouth twitch up at that. Dean is a calming presence at his side, and he would understand.

“The flowers,” he starts, "they mean forgiveness.”

They stand in silence for a while, taking in the beautiful field around them.

“I don’t deserve this.” Castiel’s voice is a quiet rumble. He almost wishes he had stayed silent or that Dean couldn’t make out his words.

Because then Dean pulls him around so they are face to face and says, “That’s a load of crap.”

It’s simply, even calmly, stated.

Castiel drops his eyes from Dean’s gaze. The guilt for everything he has done in the past to Heaven, to his brothers and sisters–it’s enough to make him mad. Heaven came so close to being wiped from existence, and he had played a lead role in it’s destruction.

If it hadn’t been for Gabriel and Jack–he stops that thought. What matters is they did. But it remains that their actions don’t have the ability to wash the spilled Grace from Castiel’s hands.

“Hey,” Dean says. His fingers sweep gently along Castiel’s jaw until he musters the courage to meet Dean’s eyes again.

And he doesn’t see pity there, only understanding and love.

“None of that. We’ve talked about this, Cas.“

Castiel nods because they have and everyone seems to have forgiven him. Everyone, that is, except for himself.

Dean must see the tension lingering on his face because he turns to walk further into the meadow, pulling Castiel by the hand.

They end up sat beside each other on a soft patch of grass near a large bumnlebee busy investigating a tulip.

Dean loops an arm around his waist, says, "I love you.”

And not so very long ago, that also was difficult for Castiel to accept.

He leans into Dean’s side and looks out at the waves of silky white petals, willing them to wash over him with a sense of peace.

Maybe one day.

“I love you, too.”

For now, this is enough.


End file.
